Petting Zoo
by LateNiteSlacker
Summary: Kaiba visits a petting zoo on a mission to find the "puppies".
1. Default Chapter

Warning!:  This is a very weird fic, many characters are ooc (or insane, take your pic.) 

Disclaimer: No, I don't own these characters, after reading this fic it should be obvious.  

And now… le fic…

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Mokuba looked up. It was that time again. Almost that time. Any minute now…

                As if he had waltzed in on cue, Seto Kaiba walked dramatically into the well furnished room of the Kaiba mansion. "Mokuba, do you…"

                "Want to go to the petting zoo?" The little fuzzy haired boy looked up at his older brother with slight boredom in his eyes. He already knew what his brother would say, and in all honesty he did NOT want to go see the dolphins again, but he adored his adorable older brother. He droned in a monotone voice, "Of course.  You know I do. I love the dolphins."

                "Excellent my dear little brother! This will be a wonderful brotherly excursion." Kaiba collected his brother and drove them to the petting zoo. He bought a bag of peanuts to feed to Mokuba because he knew that he liked them.  "I'm going to look for the puppies now, why don't you go to sea world?"

                "Ok dear brother.  I love the dolphins." The little boy disappeared to sea world.   

Suddenly, Bakura jumped out of the bushes and grabbed him by the shoulders. "Where are the kittens?! I must see them and their fuzzy glory so they can tell me their secrets of life and I can make them my own and rule the world!"

                "Bakura why do you feel the need to make your mental illness known?" Kaiba sighed with regrettable deplorableness. He was really quite saddened by Bakura's state, he was such a fine young lad and has such possibilities, but there was nothing he could do. Bakura just didn't understand anymore; he was lost to the world, lost to the world of any recognition. "The petting zoo doesn't have kittens."

                "…..oh." Bakura stood here like a rejected ice cream sundae and slowly melted into his own thoughts again. Malik walked around them to find the tree monkeys.

                Kaiba calmly removed the melting Bakura from him and walked on. 

Mokuba found sea world, as usual, and had a lovely conversation with the dolphin guy.

                "Haha I love the ocean! The ocean is the world of my life!" The sea guy laughed some more and petted Mokuba on he head. "Hey kid you must love the sea too! You're always here."

                "Oh yeah.. ha.. you're such a good guesser. I love the dolphins." Mokuba threw the bag of peanuts into the water and the dolphins ate them. He didn't like the peanuts because they were not salty enough, but his dear older brother did not seem to understand this and bought him the stale nuts every day. Malik walked by to find the monkeys.  

                "Hahaha!  That's the spirit of the sea you hear!  The wind is wonderful and clam, but the water is wonderful and not calm!" The sea guy struck a pose and jumped into the water after the fluttering dolphins.

                "Puppies puppies… where are the puppies…" Kaiba murmured loudly.  Suddenly, Jonouchi walked by.  A large smile spread across Kaiba's face. "I found the puppies!"  

                Jonouchi turned around with horror plastered all over him like paste on a warm day.  "Ohhh no.  Kaiba, I told you yesterday I'm not a puppy!  I just work here part time!"  Seeing that this wasn't working, like yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that… he took off running.

                "Puppy!" Kaiba dashed after the frightened boy with excruciating swiftness.  Like a crocodile hunter avidly searching for his crocodile, he snuck up on the Jonouchi and pounced!

                "K-Kaiba get offa me!" Jonouchi screamed loudly flailing about like a rabid dog.  Malik walked by to find the grasshoppers.  "I'm not a puppy!"

                "But you're all furry and cuddly!  And, your hair is so ruffly.  Ruffle ruffle ruffle!" Kaiba smiled and ruffled Jonouchi's hair.  Then, getting a better idea, he started petting Jonouchi's hair.

                "W-what're ya _doing_ to me?!"  Jonouchi shook his head back and forth, flailing around like a storm-blown kite.  

                "This is a petting zoo.  I'm petting the puppy." Kaiba smirked and continued to pet his puppy's hair.

                Jonouchi sighed.  "I get the feeling this is going to take a while."


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Petting Zoo, part 2!  
Author: Marika Bright  
Rating: G    
Disclaimer: No, I don't own these characters, after reading this fic it should be obvious.    
Summary:  The gang continues their skirmish at the petting zoo

Warning!:  This is a very weird fic, many characters are ooc (or insane, take your pic.) 

Notes from Marika:  Oh… oh my.  I'm more than surprised!  This fic made it to part 2?!!!  ^^;;;;

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                "Was that a scream?"  The dolphin guy was amazed, just like he was every day.  Little question marks appeared around his head as he struck a pose, holding a hand gallantly above his forehead while gazing into the distance.

                "Yeah, probably Jonouchi.  It's always Jonouchi."  Mokuba shrugged in boredom.  This happened every day, and frankly he was quite used to it by now.  Rolling his eyes, he jumped up and grabbed a question mark, bashing the sea guy over the head with it.  "Why are you always so puzzled?!  I explain this every day, and every day around this time, _he_ comes by and hears this part!"  He pointed angrily at a recently unmelted Bakura.

                Bakura crawled by, sniffing the ground curiously.  "There's something very wrong…. no kittens….  mew."  Ignoring the other people who were gazing at him in disbelief, he scurried onward with determination! 

                Mokuba sighed with dismay while Malik walked by to find the tree monkeys.  Poor poor Mokuba.  "You see… every day my brother, Seto Kaiba in case you forgot, brings me here pretending to be on a nice brotherly excursion.  But upon arriving here, he sends me to sea world and vanishes!  Well, not really vanishes, one time I followed him and then quickly _unfollowed_ him, and do you know why?  You should, I've told you why many times."

                The sea guy blinked innocently.  The sea guy blinked innocently again.  "Because he looks sexy?"

                "Aaarg!" Mokuba scrunched his eyes shut and screamed, then whapped the dolphin guy over the head with the question mark again.  "He's my _brother_ you pervert!"

                Far away in the distance, Seto Kaiba looked up, his keen Mokuba-senses tingling.  "Mokuba just screamed."

                "No, really?" Jonouchi rolled his eyes, struggling to squirm out of Seto's stronghold.  "Anyone in a ten mile radius would know that."

                "Mokuba is my brother.  I know his business and he knows mine, but let's get down to business."  Grabbing Jonouchi again, he ran his fingers fondly through the blonde's hair, delighting himself in the luxurious feeling.  Ignoring the scene, Malik walked by to find the monkeys.  Jonouchi screamed like a girl.  "Damn it Jonouchi!  Take it like a man!"

                "But Kaiba you're hurting me!"  He screamed again, topping Mokuba's frantic frustrated frenzied scream.  He squirmed like a worm in desperation, trying to escape the mighty talons of Kaiba's falcon-like ferociousness.

                To this, Kaiba had only one response.  He grinned and rubbed Jonouchi's stomach.  Jonouchi burst into laughter.

                Meanwhile far away in Sea world Mokuba continued to argue lamentfully with the sea guy when suddenly he heard a frantic frustrated frenzied scream that topped his own.  He climbed upon a high limb and searched around for the source of the sound, but no such source could be found.  He squinted his eyes into the distant horizon. "They're hiding." 

                "I do say, please come down from there young man, you're disrupting my hair." The sea guy said with odium bright in his voice.  "You're making it worse than that kid Yugi's hair."

                "Dreadfully sorry sir." Mokuba climbed down from atop the dolphin guy's right arm and stood upon the ground.  Suddenly, he pointed to the right as Malik walked by to find the monkeys.  "Just _what _ is he doing?!  That person has passed this way a multitude of times already!"

                "Ssh."  The sea guy held a finger to his lips in a sign for silence.  "He might hear you."

                "AAAHH!!  This place makes no sense!!"  Mokuba clutched his head in agony and screamed again.

                Far away, Yugi looked over.  He reached his hand out to Jonouchi and pet his hair.  "There there Jonouchi, don't scream.  We're friends, and with the power of friendship we can make it through anything."

                "Umm… Yugi… I didn't scream, that would be Mokuba."  Jonouchi indicated towards Seto, who had suddenly stopped rubbing his stomach and looked off into the distant direction of sea world again.  "And just what are you doing to my hair?  No offense, but I don't think I want any hair advice from you."

                Yugi smiled brightly and giggled.  "I wasn't giving you any.  You do know where we are, don't you?"

                "You're in a petting zoo…" The dark magician whispered to Jonouchi ominously and then disappeared magically away.  He was walking towards sea world.

                Malik walked by to find the tree monkeys, and Jonouchi nodded with understanding.  "I understand."

                Yami Yugi could barely contain his mirth as he ran his fingers through Jonouchi's light golden hair. "I'm petting the puppy!"


End file.
